I do whatever

Also, "You're taking that out of context."
And let's not forget, "That's metaphorical, it's not meant to be literally."

I contend - Stephen Roberts

Unless you're a Hindu, then I may believe in several gods fewer than you do, but I find your temples and your vegetarian feasts fun to attend.

Mario Jesus

Like a lot of savior gods.

Theist, relax!

This one's very creepy, but the point it makes is valid.

Did you know? John Quincy Adams

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof;"
-First Amendment, Constitution of the United States of America

Believing with you that religion is a matter which lies solely between man and his God, that he owes account to none other for his faith or his worship, that the legislative powers of government reach actions only, and not opinions, I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should 'make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof,' thus building a wall of separation between church and State.
-Thomas Jefferson, letter to Danbury Baptist Association, CT., Jan. 1, 1802

Neil deGrass Tyson - The problem

Neil deGrasse Tyson speaks it. In fact, the only problem I have with this quote is that the idea of "success" is so skewed towards wealth and fame. As long as you realize that being a successful person isn't necessarily about making money or being famous then you won't start taking this quote down the wrong path.

Michael Sherlock - Must I really explain

Yeah, you think it would be self evident at some point. It is amazing just how resistant most believer are to seeing the plain truth of just how out dated and offensive their primary texts are.

The god of Abraham

But, his son (who is actually him) is coming back any day now and then all those damn non-believers will be forced to admit that they were wrong. (And, for those that can't tell- that was sarcasm.)

Dan Barker - I am an atheist because

"no evidence, no belief"- seems pretty simple.

Billions of people through the whole history of mankind

Hey, Rocky, watch me pull the correct religion out of my hat... this time for sure.

Starts with a talking snake

Also, written by god.

Bill Maher - One of the complaints

Religion is the real meanie.

Bill Maher - Faith means

I saw this episode. Bill paused after saying this and there was a nervous 1/2 second before the audience applauded it. I think we've been too conditioned to respect religious faith. We shouldn't respect it.

Religion is the ultimate slavery

Create a problem and then sell the solution to it- with no guarantees and no way to test the effectiveness of your product. Sounds like an amazing (and yet dishonest) business plan to me.

Religion: Daughter of hope and fear

I think it's normal to be somewhat afraid of the big, unanswerable questions. Why does anything exist? Do we cease to exist after we die? What's the purpose of all this? What's the purpose of anything? However troubling these questions can be, there's no point in accepting made up answers that can't be justified by any evidence.

Secular Parenting

All people should try to use reason and evidence to form their values. I'm not 100% sure that everyone is capable of it, but I'm guessing more would be if they didn't experience religious indoctrination in their youth.

All of us practice selective atheism

The picture is kinda dorky (like, is the person depicted overjoyed with his lack of belief, or practicing tai chi against the amazing sunset), but the message is good.

Ehrman - I could no longer explain

But, for all the people whose existences here are horrible, they'll get a reward in the afterlife, don't forget that Mr. Ehrman. (That's sarcasm for those of you who can't tell.)

My god is better than your god

It's funny because it's true. (Bonus: that's also why it's not funny.)

Hitchen's Razor

Here's another one that speaks for itself.

Galileo - I do not feel obliged

It's almost like that "lean not unto thine own understanding" scripture creates a logical paradox- I mean don't you have to have an understanding before you can choose whether or not to trust (ie. lean unto) it? But, if you're not to trust your own understanding... and so the paradox begins. I'm siding with Galileo on this one.

Jesus - So I get back to Earth

Religion, it doesn't even make sense to its mythical figurehead.

Spock - If this is your god

In a somewhat similar vein:

“When you come to look into this argument from design, it is a most astonishing thing that people can believe that this world, with all the things that are in it, with all its defects, should be the best that omnipotence and omniscience have been able to produce in millions of years. I really cannot believe it. Do you think that, if you were granted omnipotence and omniscience and millions of years in which to perfect your world, you could produce nothing better than the Ku Klux Klan or the Fascists?" -Bertrand Russell

That'll do for me.

It'll do for me too Ms. Kelly.

Carl Sagan - If it can be destroyed by the truth

Amen, Carl, amen.

Mom why does the bible say slavery is okay

And, young man, there's plenty more parts of that book that ought to be ignored as well.

Celibacy

If those gowns and hats aren't a sin against nature, I don't know what is.

Be a good Christian

I think this one speaks for itself.

Jesus - I'm so sorry Rex

This one is just too goddamn funny to resist.

You're nothing without me

For an imaginary friend, it often times seems a lot like an abusive relationship.

Militants

“Ask a deeply religious Christian if he’d rather live next to a bearded Muslim that may or may not be plotting a terror attack, or an atheist that may or may not show him how to set up a wireless network in his house. On the scale of prejudice, atheists don’t seem so bad lately.” -Scott Adams

Jesus - Are you there dad?

Pointing out where religion doesn't make sense? It's just too easy at times.

If Atheism is a religion

...and of course, then baldness is a hair color.

Dear religious people

My only hesitation about this idea is that much of the human race is emotional and irrational, as atheism becomes more popular, we will see many more non-rational atheists. However, atheists tend to be humanists and the humanist philosophy is far superior to nearly all religious philosophies.

Carl Sagan - The world is so exquisite

Preach it brother Carl.

Morality vs Religion

Morality and religion contrasted. Seems about right.